Sometimes Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

This is one of the last real, unedited conversations between Sarah and Robert.

It includes references to a black Verve jacket (pictured below) — a piece of women’s clothing that showed up in his home among Sarah’s things but wasn’t hers. That moment sparked the exchange.

The words may sound messy, even “crazy” at times. But that’s exactly the point. When truth collides with secrecy, denial, and scripture used as a weapon, the result is confusion.

This is what it feels like to try to hold on to reality when someone else is twisting it.

The Jacket

R: You want these or want me donate them?

S: Toss the underwear. Donate dress. Can give the other girl back the black thing. Never seen it in my life.

R: Sends another picuture of Sarah’s clothes.

S: That’s so cute maybe the owner of the black jacket wants it. Ask her if she wants those too

R: Nice projection …. You are the one with multiple actual real relationships. That’s why you always blame me.

Behavioral Note – Projection: Projection is accusing someone else of what you are actually doing. Here, Robert deflects Sarah’s question about the black jacket by accusing her of “multiple relationships.”

S: It’s not mine, could be your mom’s I’m just saying not mine. Maybe if it’s your mom the stuff won’t be her style.

R: You not saying not yours, you blame me of other women always.

S: Only call out what I see what you’re actually doing, where you take idk. No blame it’s all truth.

R: No you don’t you lie and project and blame without apology. That how I feel about all those lies and bull shit and arrows and pestilence fake beliefs toxic blame manipulations.

Behavioral Note – Control Through Confusion (Word Salad): This overwhelming string of accusations (“lies… pestilence… fake beliefs… manipulations”) is word salad. It creates confusion and destabilizes Sarah rather than addressing the issue.

S: Verve (brand of jacket) is not mine. This is woman’s clothes soooo??? It’s in your possession with my woman’s stuff but that particular piece is not mine. So why you have another woman’s clothing idk, do I know who no, but I know it’s there, you sent it to me in a picture. No projections it’s hanging in your kitchen right now.

R: I don’t deal with that toxic shit anymore.

Behavioral Note – Gaslighting: By dismissing Sarah’s concern as “toxic,” Robert denies the reality of the evidence (the jacket in the photo). Gaslighting makes Sarah feel as though raising the truth is itself the problem

S: Deflection.

R: Reality.

S: Well you didn’t have to show me that either, talk about toxic.

R: Toxic.

S: It’s mean and hurtful to show me another woman’s clothing.

R: Now you really know how I feel.

S: You’re so mean and hurtful and you love it.

R: Whatever Sarah, you lack of faith in me has nothing to do with me.

Behavioral Note – Victim Blaming: Rather than address her pain, Robert blames Sarah for “lack of faith.” This shifts the problem onto her supposed shortcomings, excusing his actions.

S: You know exactly what you are doing.

S: You’re done so leave me alone please you’re mean and hurtful to me.

R: Nice projection … you the one abandon, runs away, not respond, not love, hate, fake lies believer, fake, fake, fake, fake, never wrong, fake fake fake fake, believer of lies!!!

Behavioral Note – Control Through Confusion / Verbal Assault: The repetition of “fake” and barrage of accusations is another example of control through confusion. It keeps Sarah off-balance and on the defensive.

“Fake Reality” and the Demon of Confusion

R: I don’t have time for fake shit anymore; have fun with your fake thoughts and beliefs Sarah.

R: I don’t want anything to do with fake reality of lies and deceptions and fake thoughts about fake shit it’s all a huge deception.

R:  I am a loving kind patient human.  I don’t have to prove my self worth to anyone; especially you.  I’m glad we are not together anymore (that was your choice).   I deserve peace and steadfast love with full confidence.  Not chaos with blame of shit you are doing so you can feel better about your own sinful nature and failures.  Sorry it hasn’t worked out between us, I know the Lord has a great plan in store for both of us, so take your lies and fake beliefs about me somewhere else; I’m sure your friends love hearing all your lies and I’m sure you love telling them, pagan, tax collector, wolf in sheep’s clothing.
 

R: Rejoice and be glad!!! Great is your reward!!!

Behavioral Note – Love-Bombing / Spiritual Superiority: Robert calls himself “a loving kind patient human” and invokes God’s plan, while simultaneously dismissing Sarah’s reality and condemning her. This mixture of self-praise and religious superiority is manipulative — appearing righteous while shaming her.

S: The demon of confusion wins again.  It makes you believe in your heart I stole from you. Made you go to a massage parlor after we were together the first time. You yell at me over sprinklers, roast beef, cheese, outside garbage cans, ice falling from fridge, Allen keys, makes you not trust me, makes you do all your weird dark secret stuff. Makes me run away.

S: God want all this brought to the light. This is an opportunity to face the demons, blast it away with the powerful light of the Lord’s sword.

R: No sorry no demon has possession over the Lord Jesus Christ who lives and reigns in all who truly believe.

S: Denial like that is a key ingredient for reflection time. We all have accept Robert!! lol yea you’re so special.

R: Wrong again; I’m not special, the Lord does not show partiality/favoritism, everything and anything that is good in me is Jesus Christ the Lord. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
I’m not confused.

S: I only speak truth of what I’ve seen. If you don’t hear the Lord speaking through me and you’re denying it, run from me — run away, run away from this “toxic,” “contentious,” “runaway.”
S: Never contact me again. When you see me, act like you don’t.

R: I don’t want to talk with you anymore, too much unequal yoke.

S: There is a purpose to all this and if you’re not ready for it, run away.

R: You have no power over my will.

S: The demon of confusion does.

R: You are free to continue to ignore me and walk away when you see me.

S: I’m calling him out again right now. If you don’t wanna hear me, call him out. Don’t reach out to me. Don’t contact me. I don’t want any of my old shit. I want nothing to do with you.

R: I worship the Lord.

Behavioral Note – Spiritual Bypass: Rather than address Sarah’s specific concerns, Robert cuts the discussion short with “I worship the Lord.” This is a spiritual bypass — using faith language to avoid accountability and shut down dialogue.

Secrecy, Scripture, and Denial

S: If you wanna fight the demons, you will cry at my feet and kissing them and lift me up and then the power of God really show what true treasures are

S: This was an opportunity.

R: You don’t understand; the Lord fights all my battles and conquers every enemy.

S: My faith.. its ungodly… acting like you know God better than me is ungodly. How dare you put yourself above others! That’s why you’re looking up Juliet Natalia, Magorie massage, Mariana’s massage and chatting with all these chicks and then denying it and closing accounts or hiding it and opening new ones so you can keep doing it in the darkness.

He sees what happens behind closed doors, he sees it all and if you think you are immune to what’s going on behind your closed doors, you are not and every time you’ve treated me so disgustingly, He has been there watching.

R: Believe whatever you want Sarah.

R: “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:31–39 NIV

Behavioral Note – Spiritual Bypass + Scripture Bombing: Robert responds to specific accusations about secrecy and dishonesty with a long scripture  passage. This tactic is “scripture bombing” — overwhelming the conversation with verses. It’s also “spiritual bypassing,” where biblical language is used to avoid accountability or responsibility.

S: I believe what I see. That doesn’t change that demons are inside us and if we’re not ready to let them go, the Lord gives us to them.

S: I’m calling out the demon of confusion and if you wanna live in that and taunt me and act manipulative and honk at me driving by and be so kind to me in person, you are doing the work of the devil.

S: It’s unkind to be so hateful towards someone behind closed doors and then in public act so kind and patient and loving.

S: Trickery.

S: Do you know I saw all those girls’ little profile pictures at the top of your messenger and it’s silly to just erase it and act like it never happened and then I’m so wrong — like right there is a sign that you’re choosing evil, dark over light.

S: If it were godly and sincere, you would’ve been handing your phone over to me and reassuring me that you’re ready to be open and communicate.

Your actions and decisions of being extra secretive, private, denying transparency, it’s an ungodly way to treat someone you say you wanna marry.

R: Yes I struggle mentally with sexual issues; thanks for your understanding and support! I’m glad the Lord loves me, I don’t need your love or approval.

Behavioral Note – False Confession / Deflection: Here Robert briefly admits to “struggling with sexual issues,” but immediately minimizes it with sarcasm (“thanks for your understanding”) and dismisses Sarah’s love or approval. This type of half-admission followed by denial is a deflection tactic that avoids true accountability.

S: I’m giving you every single phone number of the men that I am in contact with, I don’t care and have nothing to hide. You put me down for the relationships and things that I’ve created that have built me a small business that’s allowed me as a single mom to live kind of like the beginning of a dream and to watch me build that and to continue building that — and put me down for it is a deflection. There’s no good.

There’s nothing disgusting about what I’m doing, sexual or inappropriate with any of these people.

R: It’s all good Sarah live your life. I don’t think we are suppose to be together anymore.

Behavioral Note – Emotional Invalidation: Robert brushes aside Sarah’s transparency and hard work with “It’s all good… live your life.” This invalidates her effort to show openness and minimizes her perspective, shutting down the discussion instead of engaging with it.

Toxicity, Secrecy, and Religious Manipulation

S: I am here as a witness of the Lord. His will is to bring this to the light not to keep hiding it, and your actions hide it. This is not bringing it to the light. If it was “bringing it to the light,” you’d be open about this and your struggle with sexual issues.

I’d be Julieta, Natalia, Mariana — I’d be all of these women. But I’m not, I’m just Sarah — “contentious”, “toxic”, “unbearable”, “negativity is my disease”.

R: Too much toxicity and mistrust.

Behavioral Note – Emotional Invalidation: Rather than engage with Sarah’s pain, Robert dismisses her as “too toxic.” This is emotional invalidation: minimizing and disregarding her feelings, leaving her unseen and unheard.

S: Can you blame that on me

R: No.

R: I blame you for continuing to believe lies over truth.

R: Without acknowledgment.

Behavioral Note – Victim Blaming: Robert appears to accept partial responsibility (“No”), but then shifts the weight back onto Sarah by blaming her for “believing lies.” This places responsibility for the conflict back onto the victim.

S: God is gracious (meaning of Sarah’s name).

S: Guess I was never told the truth.

S: Only know the truth with my eyes and nothing else.

R: Faith is the evidence of things hoped for and the substance of things unseen. We walk by faith and NOT by sight.

R: “You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders… Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion…” 1 Peter 5:5–11 NASB1995

Behavioral Note – Religious Manipulation: Here Robert quotes scripture about humility, authority, and resisting the devil — not as comfort, but as correction. By using these verses in this context, he frames Sarah as “the proud” or as the one deceived by Satan, weaponizing scripture to condemn rather than to build up.

S: And thanks for acknowledging how difficult it is that when you love somebody that’s doing all these things it’s really really hurtful, and then on top of that when they’re being yelled at for roast beef and being contentious, toxic, — all these other things — how hurtful it can be. Thank you for acknowledging that.

S: When we’re struggling, we seek help from the Lord and the people the Lord puts in our lives that bring it to the light, that call it out and bring it to the light.  

Another truth — you have another woman’s clothing, maybe your mom’s but definitely not mine, and that is hurtful to see when there has been consistent sexual struggles.

S: The unknown is scary. The unknown of seeing all the chats hiding, secrecy, demanding privacy, and all that on top of being yelled at for dumb shit and yelled at for shit that I have created and glorify the strength, hard work that got me the small little business I created.

S: You’re mean and hurtful.

R: I have another woman’s clothing, wow you project so much vomit on me.

R: You are the one literally seeing other men, and not me… So fuck off with your stupid projections. I’m sick of your lies and fakeness.

R: You haven’t treated me lovingly for years with no remorse; I’m done!

Behavioral Note – DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender): Robert denies the accusation (“you project vomit”), attacks Sarah as a liar, and then reverses roles by casting himself as the mistreated partner who has “endured years without love.” This is classic DARVO, a manipulation tactic that flips the script to make the abuser look like the victim.

S: God is gracious. Oh doubting Robert, Praise God an angel was sent to open up your eyes and help you to see

R: True beauty is within.

R: Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Behavioral Note – Religious Superiority: By quoting Proverbs in this context, Robert positions himself as the spiritual authority, implying Sarah is not the kind of woman “worthy of praise.” This blends scripture with superiority, reinforcing his dominance in the relationship.

Scripture and Spiritual Superiority

R: Do fear the Lord Sarah?

R: I really want to know!

R: Do you love wisdom, do you desire to fear the Lord?!

R: I do, wholeheartedly, for the Lord’s sake because I wholeheartedly believe that’s what He wants from us and HE WILL DO IT!

S: God is gracious

R: Yes He is!

S: He answers (meaning of Sarah’s name).

R: Yes He does!

S:  Sarah: “Sarah” He answers, God is gracious. (name reference)

S: Praise him for sending you an angel to help you to see. Open up your eyes. (special way Sarah would communicate with Robert, with his own words about her). 

R: Yes, I am blind.

Behavioral Note – Spiritual Superiority with False Humility: After quoting scripture to position himself as spiritually authoritative, Robert then claims “I am blind” — which reads as false humility. This pattern of alternating between superiority and self-effacing statements is manipulative, keeping Sarah off-balance and undermining genuine accountability.

Closing Reflection

Reading this conversation is not easy. The words feel jagged, fragmented, and raw. They reveal what happens when intimacy collides with denial, when scripture becomes a shield rather than a balm, and when blame eclipses responsibility. It’s messy, confusing, and often leaves the one on the receiving end questioning their own sense of reality.

If you’ve ever found yourself in something like this, you may feel both disoriented and deeply weary. You may wonder if you were “too sensitive,” or if you should have “had more faith.”

But notice how, in these exchanges, one voice seeks honesty, transparency, and light, while the other hides behind accusations, spiritual superiority, or dismissal. This is not a simple difference of opinion. This is the erosion of trust through manipulation, projection, and spiritual misuse.

And yet — your body knows the truth. The ache in your chest when someone dismisses you, the knot in your stomach when your concerns are called “toxic,” the quiet grief of being unseen: all of these are signals. They’re reminders that you deserve relationships marked by mutuality, kindness, and safety.

As you sit with these words, allow yourself to breathe. Let compassion meet the parts of you that still feel small, confused, or guilty. Remember that healing doesn’t come through someone else’s validation or condemnation, but through reclaiming your own voice. You are not crazy. You are not too much. You are worthy of being seen, heard, and cherished.

And sometimes the bravest step we can take is simply to name what has been hidden and trust that, in time, the light will do its work.

T.O.M. F.A.W. – Trusting Our Maker Finding A Way

1. Gaslighting

• Anchor: gaslighting examples in relationships
• Link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gaslighting (Psychology Today)

2. DARVO

• Anchor: DARVO in relationships
• Link: https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html (University of Oregon research page by Jennifer Freyd, who coined the term)

3. Projection

• Anchor: projection in arguments
• Link: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-projection-2795901 (Verywell Mind)

4. Spiritual Bypassing

• Anchor: examples of spiritual bypassing
• Link: https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/spiritual-bypassing (MindBodyGreen)

5. Weaponized Scripture / Spiritual Abuse

• Anchor: spiritual abuse and misuse of scripture
• Link: https://christiansurvivors.com/spiritual-abuse (Christian Survivors)
• Optional Christian counseling source: https://chuckdegroat.net/

6. Emotional Abuse in Relationships

• Anchor: signs of emotional abuse
• Link: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/emotional-abuse.htm (HelpGuide)

Disclaimer: “Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

Navigating out of Spiritual Bypassing, Control and Manipulation

There is a particular kind of ache that comes when the name of Jesus is twisted into a weapon. It doesn’t feel like ordinary pain. It cuts deeper because it touches the place where trust was meant to live.

When someone cloaked in spiritual language—whether a street preacher with a Bible in hand or a leader with a title and a following—uses faith to control, manipulate, or silence, the soul recoils. You don’t just feel betrayed by a person. You begin to wonder if God Himself has betrayed you.

It’s disorienting. What once felt like the safety of God’s presence can start to feel like the voice of condemnation. The very verses that once brought peace now echo with accusation.

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The Comfort and the Struggle of Matthew 7

Jesus anticipated this. He warned us that there would be people who prophesy in His name, who perform mighty works, who seem to be the very embodiment of spiritual power—and yet, He says, “I never knew you.”

There is a strange comfort in this. To hear Jesus name what you’ve lived: not everyone who claims My name is truly Mine. It tells the wounded heart, “You weren’t crazy. What they did in My name was not from Me.”

And yet, the comfort doesn’t erase the struggle. If Jesus knew this would happen, why does it still wound so deeply? Why does it take years to disentangle His true voice from the counterfeit one that rang in your ears?

This is the fleshly struggle of survivors: to live in the tension of comfort and confusion, to find God again after His name was used to harm.

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The Work of Stepping Out of Silence

Paul’s words still echo: “Expose the unfruitful works of darkness.” Yet exposure, in the way of Christ, is less about calling someone out and more about stepping out of silence. Because silence—however safe it seems—eventually eats away at the soul. What is unspoken, festers. What is hidden weighs heavier with time.

Healing begins in the gentle act of telling the truth. Sometimes that means writing the story in a journal. Talking to someone you trust. Sometimes one feels called to share their personal experience to help others who have gone through similar experiences. Writing your story in the third person creates just enough distance to see clearly without being crushed by the memory.

In these small ways, light enters. Grace breaks through. What once felt like a private wound becomes the beginning of testimony: this is what happened, this is how it shaped me, and this is where God is meeting me now. Jesus doesn’t ask you to carry secrets in the dark. He invites you to lay them bare in the safety of His mercy.

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A Deeper Stir of Grace

Even amid betrayal and spiritual bypassing, God remains sovereign—able to weave even those misused moments into His redemptive story. This is not to excuse wrongdoing, but to acknowledge a mystery: evil, when unleashed, does not have the final word.

Joseph once told his brothers: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20). Paul reminded the Romans that “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). And again, he dared to say, “we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Romans 5:3–5).

Psychologists describe something similar as post-traumatic growth—an unexpected transformation where enduring the wound opens the soul to new depths of meaning, compassion, and clarity. Spiritually, this can feel like one’s faith being refined. Not shattered, but reshaped. Instead of pulling away from God, some discover themselves drawn closer—adversity revealing a tenderness in His character they had never known before.

In that reorientation, the victim is not defined by the abuser. Instead, they become an embodiment of resilience and God’s redeeming light. It’s a sacred inversion: the very forces meant to wound can become the soil of deeper communion with God.

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Writing Your Story as Healing

One of the gentlest tools for healing is writing your story in the third person. It creates a sacred kind of distance. Instead of “I was hurt,” it becomes, “She was hurt. She struggled. She survived.”

Psychologists call this self-distancing, and research confirms its power. By narrating a painful event from a more removed perspective, survivors gain clarity without drowning in the emotion of the memory. It’s like sitting across from your best friend, sharing the story out loud, but with enough space to breathe.

In trauma recovery, this kind of writing does more than tell a story—it loosens trauma’s grip. It helps the brain process the memory without re-experiencing it. It lets survivors reclaim their own narrative, moving from victimhood to authorship.

Spiritually, it echoes the Psalms: David often wrote of himself in the third person—“the man,” “the righteous one”—as if creating room between his pain and God’s promise. That distance makes space for compassion, for perspective, for hope.

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Beginning Again

Healing begins where we dare to believe that God is not like the one who misused His name. Jesus never manipulated. He never controlled. He never shamed the vulnerable into silence. He never said, “Do more, believe harder, submit further” in order to prove devotion.

Instead, He bent low. He lifted heads. He healed on the Sabbath when the leaders said it was forbidden. He spoke gently to those who doubted. He restored the ones cast aside.

The long work of healing is to relearn His voice: to discover that the Shepherd sounds nothing like the thief.

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A Final Word

Sharing your story can be an act of exposure, but even more, it can be an act of redemption. It is saying, This is where I was harmed. This is how God is mending me.

Would Jesus approve? I think He already has. Because every time a survivor steps into the light, the darkness loses power. Every time truth is spoken with gentleness, lies are brought to the light.

And every time you dare to believe His love is real—more real than the false version that wounded you—you embody the Beatitudes again: blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

T.O.M F.A.W – Trusting Our Maker Finding a Way

1. On Third-Person Writing and Healing
   • Psychology Today: Writing About Trauma in the Third Person – Explains how third-person writing creates distance and clarity.
   • Greater Good Science Center – How Writing Heals – Research-backed look at expressive writing for trauma recovery.
2. Story Sharing for Healing
   • The Mend Project – A safe space where people share stories of covert emotional and spiritual abuse to find healing and hope.

BACK TO TOP: Peace Muddled by Condemnation and Judgement

A Gift or A Chain

Sarah remembers the early days of her relationship with Robert as open and safe. Their conversations felt honest and vulnerable — the kind where weaknesses could be shared without fear. She believed that this rare openness could be the foundation they would build on.

But the relationship began to shift. The slow climb turned into a roller coaster that never stopped until one of them finally said, enough is enough.

One day, Robert sent a message that stopped her in her tracks:

“It’s okay, Sarah. I don’t know why you did it, but I forgive you.”

Sarah had no idea what he meant. The day before, they had shared an amazing day together. While she was reminiscing about that, Robert was believing she was a thief.

When she pressed for clarity, he finally told her he believed she had stolen from him — more than once — a few hundred dollars from a spare money bucket in his home. He said he didn’t know why she would do it, but maybe, he suggested, it was because she was a desperate single mother. Later, he would deny saying that altogether, but Sarah couldn’t forget the words. They cut deep.

From her perspective, the accusation came out of nowhere. She had seen Robert lose his wallet multiple times, calling credit card companies to replace cards — sometimes on days she wasn’t even with him. The claim didn’t match reality. Still, in his mind, the verdict seemed already decided. To Sarah, it felt like an excuse — a reason to spend time with a woman he had been talking to before they met. He even told her he did so because she “wasn’t able to be honest” about stealing and “wasn’t serious about the relationship.”

Sarah brought the incidents up here and there, especially when fresh judgment or condemnation was projected onto her. She wanted clarity. She wanted to be believed. But even after many counseling sessions focused on this very topic, he refused to reconsider.

After years on the roller coaster, Sarah grew more and more tired and less willing to accept the unacceptable.

Over the smallest things, Robert would belittle her. One example came when she opened a new pack of cheese, unaware that three slices of three-month-old cheese were sitting in the back of the fridge. For something like this — and there were many such examples — he claimed she didn’t deserve love, comfort, or safety. In his view, it meant she didn’t respect his belongings and didn’t care about the money he spent.

It was the kind of overreaction that shifts a mistake from the ordinary into a moral failure — reframing a simple oversight as proof of unworthiness. Over time, this pattern chips away at a person’s sense of self, creating an environment where love feels conditional and safety depends on perfect performance.

Even so, Robert and Sarah tried to work things out. But when it became clear that the very behaviors Robert claimed to hate were still happening — without remorse or accountability — Sarah finally walked away. She broke it off, stopped responding to most messages, and she became thankful when Robert moved and the random run-ins around town eventually ceasedFor a long while, Robert kept reaching out.

His texts were sweet and kind, while also lamenting how little Sarah was willing to work things out — something he said he wanted. He even attempted to send Sarah money. This hurt her. She didn’t understand the motive but sensed it wasn’t genuine or from a kind place. From Sarah’s point of view, the transfers felt more like a reminder of the imbalance — a subtle form of control. She returned the money every time, feeling it was less a kind gesture and more a symbol of power, carrying the unspoken message:

I have more. I am blessed. I can give to you — even to the one I believe wronged me.

Public Persona vs. Private Reality

Sarah observed two different sides to Robert. Publicly, he was known for being optimistic, happy, and Godly. He lived a “cool” life and had retired early, giving him freedom to do whatever he pleased. She believed that life without order is chaos — too much of anything becomes unbalanced and can lead to the ultimate test from God. Publicly, Robert was warm and generous, seeming to listen intently. He spoke as though he were grounded, mature, and sound in his faith. He was socially admired.

Privately, Sarah’s experience included moments of criticism, walking on eggshells, incidents she believed showed infidelity, and patterns that didn’t align with the image he presented. She recalled times he would warmly engage with others while simultaneously giving her a look of silent disapproval that cut through the moment.

Once they were over, Robert began to travel the world again, spending time in places that exude God’s beauty. He surfed world-class breaks and shared the word of God with those willing to listen. But just as Jesus warns, outward charm, generosity, and religious talk do not always match the truth of a person’s heart.

From Sarah’s perspective, this kind of lifestyle can function as a stage for the curated self — the part of a person that thrives on admiration and carefully controls what others see. In unfamiliar settings far from home, it becomes easier to reinvent the story, to sidestep uncomfortable truths, and to avoid the kind of accountability that close relationships naturally bring. The charm remains intact, the generosity is on display, and the spiritual talk flows freely — yet the deeper self, with its wounds and contradictions, can stay hidden. For those on the inside of such a life, this dissonance between the public image and private reality creates a slow erosion of trust, leaving the truth obscured behind a polished facade.

Read more: Discovering the Love is Conditional

The Hard Truths Behind the Mask of Success

Sarah admits it was painful to watch Robert’s life flourish while hers grew more challenging after their split.  Sarah got into a car accident and almost lost the small business she created to the flooding of the hurricanes. The ache wasn’t just about lost love or broken trust — it was the unsettling reality that someone who had caused so much harm could appear to prosper.

She found herself wrestling with the ancient questions voiced in Psalm 73: “Why do the wicked prosper? Why do all the evildoers flourish?” This isn’t just a question of circumstance; it cuts to the heart of faith and justice. Sarah’s pain echoed the psalmist’s struggle — a disorienting tension between what seems visible and what is true in God’s eyes.

The Bible is clear that wealth, comfort, and outward success are never reliable signs of God’s favor. They do not guarantee a pure heart or a life aligned with God’s justice. Rather, God’s patience toward hidden sin is a space — painful though it may be — that offers opportunity for repentance and transformation.

From Sarah’s perspective, this was a season of profound wrestling. She had to confront the tension between human brokenness and divine justice, between appearances and reality. The flourishing life Robert displayed was, in many ways, a mask — a carefully maintained exterior that hid deeper wounds and ongoing brokenness.

In that tension, Sarah began to understand that her own healing would not come from seeing Robert falter, but from reclaiming her story, finding freedom beyond the shadow of his facade, and trusting in a God whose justice is ultimately sure, even when human eyes cannot see it clearly.

T.O.M. F.A.W. – Trusting Our Maker Finding the Way

• Psalm 73 – about wrestling with why the wicked prosper:
• Psalm 73 (NIV) on Bible Gateway
• Proverbs 3:5–6 – about trusting God and not relying on our own understanding:
• Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV) on Bible Gateway
• Matthew 7:16 – about recognizing people by their fruit (integrity of heart, not outward appearances):
• Matthew 7:16 (NIV) on Bible Gateway

What follows is a genuine exchange, preserved as it happened—only minor typos corrected. Brief, trauma-aware reflections after each section have been added to help you notice subtle dynamics: when reassurance becomes control, when spirituality masks avoidance, when projection blurs truth, and where self-differentiation breaks through. Read slowly, and listen to your own body as you go.

Opening Exchange

Robert:
I’m sorry for everything and I feel sad. I just wish you believed in me instead of doubting me all the time. It’s such a lonely place. I’m sorry for saying mean things yesterday out of frustration and anger.

Behavioral Note: This begins with what looks like remorse, but the underlying message centers on *being misunderstood* rather than taking full responsibility. The emotional tone shifts quickly into self-victimization — a subtle deflection from the harm done.

Robert:
But you don’t believe me.

Behavioral Note: The repeated plea for belief shifts pressure back onto Sarah. This tactic can unconsciously coerce the listener to silence their discomfort in favor of easing the speaker’s emotional distress — a common pattern in emotional confusion cycles.

Sarah:
Maybe you never cheated, but so much evidence points to it. You choose to keep hiding and making things more hidden. Your actions show you’re not ready for a true committed relationship.

Behavioral Note: Sarah leads with uncertainty — not accusation. She is naming patterns of secrecy and inconsistency, which are common signs of relational trauma responses. Her statement is emotionally grounded and rooted in observable behavior, not blame.

Sarah: Naming the Secrecy

Blocking me.
Deleting everything.
Making everything private.

Nah, bruh — if there isn’t betrayal, there’s no need to go to these lengths. Gotta be real about what’s going on.

Behavioral Note: Sarah directly calls out secrecy. Her language is strong, but grounded. She is asking for honesty, not control.

Sarah: Modeling Respect

I haven’t betrayed you. I’m respectful. I can kindly tell someone to back off if needed.
I don’t see myself as flirtatious — I see myself as respectable.
I’m open. I’ve shown you everything you’ve ever asked for to give you peace of mind.

Behavioral Note: Sarah models what transparency and mutual respect look like. She’s not overexplaining — she’s affirming her boundaries.

Robert: Defensive Reversal

Robert: Just stop it. I’m sick of always being someone who is unfaithful in your mind.

Sarah: I expect the same trust — and if it can’t be given, I can’t stay.

Robert: That just shows how unfaithful your own heart is.

Behavioral Note: Textbook defensive reversal and projection. Robert reframes Sarah’s request for mutual trust as evidence of her unfaithfulness, flipping concern into accusation. The “if it can’t be given, I can’t stay” line becomes an ultimatum that pressures compliance rather than building safety—an emotional control move that moralizes her boundary as wrongdoing.

Sarah: Detailing the Pattern

I don’t know how far it goes. I just know great lengths are being taken to hide things.
I see what you block. I see what you search.
These are all reasons to be transparent.

You’ve taken every opposite step — and when I bring it up, I’m just “Miss Snoopy.”
I don’t want to place my feelings in a relationship full of secrecy.

Behavioral Note: This is relational hypervigilance, not paranoia. Sarah’s alertness is a reaction to repeated confusion and gaslighting. She’s trying to ground the conversation in observable facts.

Sarah: Facts, Not Accusations

You made another Messenger account. Blocked me on Facebook. Erased everything.
Still had a few girls in there.

Whatever is going on — I don’t claim to know.
But I can’t live like this.

Behavioral Note: Sarah refuses to speculate, which shows restraint. She chooses to name what’s real and protect her emotional well‑being.

Sarah: Drawing the Line

You are the one doing shady stuff. Constant blame!
Look at the screenshots, bruh.
That is undeniably shady.
The blocking, the erasing, the hiding of notifications — shady. Own it.

If it wasn’t you — if this was someone else — you’d be in a frenzy about how shady it is.

Behavioral Note: Sarah offers a reality check. She asks Robert to imagine his behavior from the outside. This is an invitation to accountability.

Robert: Using Scripture to Redirect

Take out your own plank.

Behavioral Note: Robert uses scripture to imply that Sarah is being judgmental — a reversal of accountability. This form of redirection is classic in spiritualized manipulation.

Sarah: Rejecting Gaslighting

My crazy isn’t your crazy — don’t project that on me.
Facts are facts — whether acknowledged or not.

Behavioral Note: Sarah refuses to be labeled as unstable. She draws a line between her emotions and his projections. This is emotional clarity and self-differentiation under pressure.

Sarah: Reaffirming Transparency

You’ve always been welcome to ride with me for work or anything. I have nothing to hide.
I have no relationships to hide.

Behavioral Note: Again, Sarah invites transparency. She’s modeling trust, not demanding it. This counters the accusation narrative with lived openness.

Robert: Unfounded Accusations

I know you have multiple relationships with multiple men.

Behavioral Note: Baseless accusation meant to discredit and confuse. This is textbook projection — destabilizing the clarity Sarah is fighting for.

Robert: Quoting 1 Corinthians 13

Love is patient, kind, not jealous… keeps no record of wrongs.

Behavioral Note: While this scripture is beautiful, quoting it in the middle of conflict reframes Sarah’s concerns as unloving. This is a classic example of spiritual bypassing — using godly language to avoid accountability.

Sarah: Concluding with Facts

Betrayal has happened — and the level of secrecy you’re choosing speaks volumes.

Behavioral Note: Sarah draws a clear conclusion from behavior, not emotion. She affirms her right to name what she’s experiencing and refuses to gaslight herself.

Sarah: Echoing Her Hope

God sent you an angel — someone gracious who’s been around a lot.
I’ve watched counseling, family ups and downs. I understand what’s loving and Godly.
Like Leslie told us, I’m kinda the perfect person for this kind of thing.

Behavioral Note: While this might sound like a rescuing posture, it’s actually a layered reflection. Sarah references past counseling, her attachment history, and a lyric Robert once wrote about Sarah, the meaning of her name “gracious.” This is the voice of someone who once believed her empathy could save the relationship — a common pattern in trauma-informed dynamics.

Sarah: Encouraging Spiritual Growth

Maybe you’re supposed to trust the process the Lord has for you.
It’s not always easy, but once the pruning begins, it gets easier.

Behavioral Note: Sarah ends with hope, but it’s a complicated kind — the kind that spiritualizes dysfunction to survive it. She offers kindness, but is also letting go.

Robert: Quoting John 9:18–34

Though I was blind, now I see…

Behavioral Note: Robert compares himself to the man healed by Jesus who was doubted by others. It reinforces his “persecuted prophet” identity — subtly implying that Sarah is like the disbelieving crowd. Another example of scripture used to claim spiritual vindication.

Reflections

This dialogue between Sarah and Robert reflects real patterns seen in emotionally confusing and spiritually manipulative relationships. We share this not to expose, but to help others name what they’ve lived through.

If you’ve found yourself wrestling between your gut and someone else’s words — between intuition and spiritual confusion — you’re not alone. Disentangling manipulation from love can be one of the hardest and holiest things you ever do.

Disclaimer: “Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

TOMFAW.com — Trusting Our Maker Finding A Way.

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Further Reading:

• Spiritual Bypassing as a Defense Mechanism – Verywell Mind
• Projection: The Great Threat to Intimate Relationships – Psychology Today
• What Does Projecting in Psychology Mean? – Verywell Health

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A Journey Through Spiritual Confusion and Oppression

There’s a particular kind of disorientation that comes when the language that is meant to give life is used to tear you apart. When someone who speaks the name of Jesus quotes Romans 8 — and somehow, it breaks Sarah instead of building her. When the one who says he has been given the authority from God to cast out demons becomes the very source of spiritual confusion, manipulation, and torment in her life. When the voice that once soothed her fears begins to ring with accusations and control. This is what spiritual abuse does.

And this is part of how it played out in Sarah’s life.

When God’s Words Get Twisted

Sarah was in it for five years. Five years of fighting, believing, praying, waiting — hoping the man she loved, Robert, who spoke so passionately about God, would eventually live what he preached. Robert quoted Scripture well, and always spoke about God’s Love. He talked about demons and deliverance like he had special insight. He once called her a gift, a partner, a best friend — an angel sent to open up his eyes — words he even wove into a song he privately shared with her..

Then suddenly — she was a demon. A problem. A liar. A seductress. A thief. Untrustworthy.

Robert tried to cast out a “spirit of seduction” from her. Meanwhile, he was visiting massage establishments, searching for happy endings and prostitutes, hiding chats with other women, and synonymously accusing her of infidelity.

Sarah wasn’t passive. She found the evidence. She caught him at a massage establishment. She saw the search terms, the profiles of the girls he had reached out to. The patterns were always there.

And still, she stayed — not because she was weak, but because the truth was wrapped in what looked like something special. He had a way of showing up with charm and deep words. She wasn’t afraid of walking through hard things; she believed in growth and grace. She knew she had her own areas to work on too. Finally though, she realized how her willingness to return again and again was the biggest problem in the pattern.

What made it even harder was that sometimes, it genuinely seemed like he wanted freedom — like he wanted healing. He said the right things. He prayed. He even sat beside her in counseling. The way he quoted Scripture, the way he spoke about God — it could feel real. Somewhere in the middle of it, she lost sight of where God ended and this man began.

The Hope That Kept Her There

As Sarah began to separate from Robert and gain strength, her soul started shifting and her awareness heightened. She began to realize she was being spiritually attacked. She was able to separate herself from him for longer periods of time before she’d rationalize his story and go back to trying. One night in her kitchen while in the “separation phase,” she saw a black silhouette in the hallway. She laughed at herself, shook it off, told herself she was crazy.

She went back to him.

Months later, after another long separation, it happened again. This time on a pier. A small black silhouette — behind her. But… she was pulled back in by charm and charm’s twin: confusion. Robert would tell her she was all he needed. She was his best friend, he even wrote her a song.

Sometimes he’d offer vague apologies — “I’m sorry for all the ways I hurt you” — but failed to name what those ways actually were. It left her with nothing real to hold on to. And then, the cycle would start again. Eventually, it got beyond what she could handle. She left — what she thought was for good.

But her body and spirit were already carrying the weight. For a week, she could barely breathe when she laid down. She had a pain in her chest that would go down her arm. Then came the panic attack — so intense she truly thought she might be dying. She couldn’t move, couldn’t call for help. All she could do was pray that her son would be okay without her.

A friend had once told her that in moments like this, to hyper-focus on the present. So she did — naming everything around her, counting the patterns on the ceiling, the fan blades, the books on the shelf, anchoring herself to the rhythm of her breath. Slowly, it passed.

That night, as she finally fell asleep, the demonic presence showed up again, this time as a smoky figure. It snarled in her right ear. She yelled at it to leave her alone and woke herself up. Exhausted, she prayed. She fell asleep again.

Looking back, Sarah believes spiritual things can attach themselves to us in these kinds of relationships — especially when Scripture is twisted and intimacy is mixed with confusion. Darkness is a professional when it comes to mimicking The Light.

Sleep Paralysis — and The Light That Saved Her

The next day, Sarah was EXHAUSTED. She had to take a nap, and she instinctively knew she was going to be attacked again.

She laid down, and sure enough — it came.

In her early 20’s, Sarah went through a quick phase experimenting with lucid dreaming. She listened to YouTube videos meant to induce them. But one day while attempting to lucid dream she ended up paralyzed in darkness, subconsciously filled with static that made it feel like her body was in a spasm. She shared the experience with her mom, and her mom said it sounded demonic. She never touched it again and didn’t experience anything like this again.

Until now — this felt the same. But worse, she was familiar with this attacker. She was surrounded by the sound of chainsaws and pitch blackness. Her muscles spasmed. She tried to fight — to punch, to scream. She couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality. She woke up breathless. The room was silent, the chainsaws and the noise were not really happening. She lay back down. She could feel she had to go back. She was pulled in instantly.

But this time — she didn’t fight. She cried out to Jesus, and in an instant, a giant burst of light blasted through everything. Her attacker was gone. She woke up lighter than she had felt in years. She couldn’t stop thinking about the experience. Jesus came and blasted that thing away!!!

Sarah Wanted to Share It With Him

Sarah was still intermittently in contact with Robert. A part of her wanted to share what had happened — to tell him that Jesus showed up. That He saved her. That the same freedom was possible for him, if he ever wanted it. She was hoping with all she had experienced over the year with him, the seductive demon casting, her son’s dream of saving him, the past times he told her he casted demons from people — she thought he might be open to her experience. After all, she had walked with him through so much. She knew his struggles. She had seen both the depth and the pain in him over the past five years, and she still hoped he might feel accepted enough to choose healing.

But while she was enduring anxiety attacks, barely able to breathe, and fighting spiritual oppression, Robert was out in the world — prophesying over strangers, performing gospel music, sharing stories of how God was using him. He told her all of this with enthusiasm, but never once asked how she was. He didn’t acknowledge what had happened between them, not a word. It was as if none of it had been real — like everything she carried was just her burden to bear.

Still, she tried to share her experience — the encounter with Jesus, the freedom she had found. But he just smiled, and redirected the conversation back to himself — his gifts, his impact, his connection to God. The disconnect was jarring. She had just walked through a spiritual battle, and he looked at her like she was interrupting a celebration.

A few days later, she noticed familiar signs — the kind that once left her questioning. She confronted him. She already knew the patterns, and why she needed to follow the urge to see stuff she knew would be there is her own dysfunction. And again, there it was: More evidence. More women. More secrets. And that was it. She was done. She had made a promise to Jesus. And going back to him wasn’t part of it.

Understand What She Went Through

Spiritual abuse is hard to name because it wears the face of godliness. Chuck DeGroat says:

“Abuse is not just harm — it’s the violation of vulnerability under the guise of care.”

That’s exactly it. Sarah was vulnerable, spiritually open, emotionally raw. Robert offered care — in the form of words, Scripture, visions, dreams — but underneath it was control, rage, deceit, and blame.

He blamed her for everything. For their failure. For the “toxicity.” For not trusting him. For being contentious. For not loving him enough. For not being forgiving. For seeing the signs and believing them.

But Sarah wasn’t imagining things. She found the evidence. She heard the lies. At 3 years old, her son even dreamt there was a beast on Robert’s back, and that he had to save him. That was before she fully understood what was happening — before she knew how deep it went. And yet, even as she got stronger, she felt like she was going crazy.

Calling It What It Is

This was not a “messy breakup.”
This was not just “a relationship with issues.”
This was spiritual abuse.

Robert used the name of Jesus, but he served control, secrecy, and lust.
He quoted Proverbs and 1 Peter, but refused humility and repentance.
He claimed insight, but rejected wisdom.
He shouted about demons while hiding his own.

And Sarah — she confused his God-talk for godliness. She confused Scripture with Spirit.
But the Spirit was never in the shaming. The Spirit was never in the yelling, the degrading words and actions, the condemnation, shame, blame, and judgment. The Spirit is never in fear.

How She’s Healing

Sarah is no longer in it. That’s the first part of healing. But now she is facing the deeper work — untangling God from the abuser. Here’s what healing looks like for her right now:

Naming the abuse
She says it out loud: This was spiritual and emotional abuse.
She refuses to minimize it.
She refuses to spiritualize it.

Letting God speak for Himself
She reads Jesus’s Words — not someone’s interpretation of the Word.
She hears the Shepherd’s voice again — tender, not controlling.
She trusts Jesus more now, because He saved her from the one who used His name.

Remembering who she is
She is not a liar, or seductive, or confused.
She is not crazy.
She is a woman who stayed longer than she should have because she believed in redemption.

Letting go of the fantasy
The fantasy that Robert would change.
The fantasy that love, or prayer, or enough submission would save him.
The fantasy that this was a battle she was meant to fight alone.

Receiving real community
People who see the whole her.
People who don’t use God to control.
People who walk slowly, without judging her journey.

You Are Not Alone

If you’ve been spiritually abused, know this: God is not the abuser. He is not the one yelling at you, shaming you, gaslighting you. He is not the voice saying you deserve it, you’re unworthy, you’re too much. He is the one who says:

“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

And that’s what Sarah is walking toward now — rest. Real rest. Not forced submission. Not religious performance. Not another deliverance from a man who doesn’t know his own darkness.

Just Jesus.
Just truth.
Just healing.

Postscript

To the ones still in it:
You’re not crazy. You’re not rebellious. You’re not faithless.
You’re waking up. And waking up isn’t easy.

But once you do, you’ll never trade peace for bondage again.And to those who’ve made it out:
We carry each other forward. Gently. No shame. No show.
Just freedom — and the long, slow healing of God’s love made real again.

TOMFAW – Trusting Our Maker Finding A Way

Links to Related Scripture:

1. Matthew 11:28 – Rest for the Weary
   https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+11%3A28&version=NIV
2. Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord
   https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3%3A5-6&version=NIV
3. Romans 8:28 – God Works for Good
   https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8%3A28&version=NIV
4. Psalm 73 – The Prosperity of the Wicked
   https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+73&version=NIV
5. 1 Peter 5:7 – Cast Your Anxiety on Him
   https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Peter+5%3A7&version=NIV

Some betrayals feel especially disorienting—not because of what was done, but because of who did it. Spirtual abuse in the church can come with a unique confusion, that takes time to heal from.

He prayed. He prophesied. He quoted Scripture, wrote worship songs, and was referred to as a man of God.
He said the name “Jesus” with ease.
He called his struggles normal. “Men’s battles,” he said.
He would become fixated on the smallest perceived offenses—tiny things, trivial moments, turning them into opportunities for shame or accusation.
And when he hurt her, he reminded her of the call to forgive—seventy times seven, he’d repeat.

It left her questioning not only him, but herself.
Was she unforgiving? Judgmental? Overreacting?

But deep down, her body knew. Her spirit knew.
Something was wrong.

---

When spiritual language is used to justify harm, it becomes spiritual abuse.
And when someone performs holiness but lives in unrepentant contradiction, the confusion can fracture a person’s faith.

In churches and ministries, we often confuse gifts with goodness.
But Scripture is clear:

“By their fruit you will recognize them.” (Matthew 7:16)

Not by their songs.
Not by their stage presence.
Not even by the crowds they draw.
By their fruit.

But what is fruit, really?

That’s where things get complicated.

Because on the surface, the fruit can seem good.
This man—he does charity work. He shows love and affection to all. He writes and performs inspirational gospel music. He gives water and food to the homeless. He speaks about second chances and redemption with convincing joy.

From the outside, these are the signs we’re taught to look for.

But the fruit Jesus speaks of in Matthew 7 is not just public action—it’s integrity of heart.
It’s what’s revealed in the whole life: private choices, relational patterns, and the posture of repentance.

Sometimes the only fruit Jesus can truly see are the ones behind closed doors.

It’s not only what someone does, but how consistently, how truthfully, and how humbly they live it.

Because even good works can become tools of self-elevation.
Even charity can be performative.
Even kindness can be conditional.

And the Spirit doesn’t measure fruit by momentary acts—but by sustained transformation.

 

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This is where discernment begins.

Not in suspicion, but in truth-telling.

A man can lead worship and lead a double life.
He can speak about grace and still avoid accountability.
He can move a crowd—and manipulate the people closest to him.

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This dissonance is enough to unravel someone’s trust.
Not just in the man, but in the systems that celebrate him.
In the churches that platform him.
In the people who say, “But he’s so kind,” or “God is clearly using him.”

She begins to ask:
If God uses someone, does that mean God approves of them?
If a person leads others to the Lord but refuses to be led himself, what exactly is happening?

There’s no easy answer.
But here’s what she’s learning:

God may work through anyone.
But that doesn’t mean God blesses their behavior.
He may bring good out of brokenness—but never by excusing harm.

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In some expressions of modern worship culture—especially in spaces built around image and performance—it’s hard to tell the difference between spiritual influence and spiritual manipulation.

The stage may shine. The lyrics may be relatable. The crowd may sway to the rhythm of “One Voice for God,” or whatever the next big gospel song might be.

But behind it all, the question still lingers:
What kind of life is being lived offstage?

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This is how spiritual gaslighting works:

The harm-doer remains the holy one.
The truth-teller becomes the problem.

So she stops speaking.
She doubts her instincts.
And eventually, she starts to question the whole thing: church, worship, Scripture, leaders.

She’s not walking away from God.
She’s walking away from confusion.

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Healing, for her, begins in naming what happened.

Not loudly. Not with revenge. Just honestly.

She’s beginning to believe that God is not the one who manipulated her.
God is not the one who blamed, condemned, and judged her.
God is not the one who sings in the name of Jesus and sins without accountability and remorse.

God was with her the whole time—grieved, not glorified.

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She still wrestles with questions about faith, forgiveness, and church.
But now she knows:

• Real grace tells the truth.
• Real forgiveness doesn’t require silence.
• Real transformation bears fruit.

Not perfection.
But humility.
Not charm.
But character.

So she lets herself grieve.
She stops calling chaos “God’s will.”
She starts trusting and listening to the Holy Spirit inside her.

And maybe that’s where God meets her.
Not in the performance.
But in the quiet place where she’s questioning:

“This is not right.”

And if she needs to remember it again—she reminds herself of the truth:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
(Proverbs 3:5–6)

Because even when the road feels confusing, she can trust that God’s will is better than the illusion of control.

T.O.M. F.A.W.– Trusting Our Maker, Finding A Way

1. Faith-Based Inspiration – Bible Gateway
   (A trusted source for scripture references and spiritual reflection.)
2. Mental Health & Healing – NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
   (Authoritative resource on emotional healing and mental well-being, aligns with your “finding a way” theme.)
3. Personal Growth & Reflection – Greater Good Science Center – UC Berkeley
   (Research-based insights on resilience, hope, and human connection.)

Coming Soon — Sarah’s Story

Writing this blog has been part of my healing — and healing, as I’ve learned doesn’t happen over night. It’s a process.

Right now, I’m still in the middle of writing all this. I’ve written only two chapters. I’m giving myself time to process each piece before sharing it with the world. When I have a few more chapters ready — I’ll begin posting week by week.

For now, can just keep my promise,:
The story is coming.
And when it does, I promise it’s from my heart. The processing I went through. The questions I’ve asked myself 1 million times, the prayers, I’ve prayed 1 million times.

Until then, I’m Sarah — a name I’ve chosen until ready to be seen.
It’s the name I gave to my myself as a little girl. The one I told all my stories through.

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